An Alternative Family Lifestyle

My husband and I have made a deliberate and decisive decision to lead our family in an alternative lifestyle. It is one that does not go with the flow of our community. It seems so unorthodox and crazy to some but...we've decided to make family time a priority.
You make think I'm being dramatic but I am shocked almost daily by the snarky remarks, wild-eyed looks, and behind-the-back whispers I deal with. No one acts this way when I say we are making family a priority. They do this when we don't over book our schedule. They do this when we don't allow our kids to commit to 5-night-a-week activities.
We live in a high-functioning, highly competitive community/society. Kids are told they have to be specialized experts in particular activities by 5th grade. Parents are led to believe that their child will never "make it" in the world if they aren't coached by the best and taking private lessons three times a week.
I have no judgment or ill-will for families that commit their kids to activities every night. If they have talked about it as a family, have decided that it works for them, the kids aren't suffering, and everyone is happy about it - GREAT! We have talked about it as a family though and decided that it doesn't work for us.
Our kids do participate in activities. They both play sports. They simply play recreational. Seth played baseball last year. He played flag football in the fall and basketball in the winter. Shelby danced for several years and played soccer this spring. We chose not to do the elite, traveling, dynamo, champ leagues though and for some reason, that boggles the minds of some people. I often hear comments like, "Wow! You waited until your daughter was eight to play soccer? You really put her behind the 8 ball!" or "How do expect your son to play football in high school if he's not doing it now?" or "You're taking a break from dance? How will she ever make the high school dance team?"
I always want to laugh when I hear these statements/questions because these people have assumed that my kids already know that they want these things or that I want these things for my kids.
Here's what I want for my kids:

• I want them to know and love Jesus.
• I want them to be healthy.
• I want them to know that their dad and I love them and always have their best interest at heart.
• I want them to know that our family is safe and supportive.

Other things, like being a sport hero or dance champion or the star of the school play or the president of the student council, will fall into place naturally. We will allow them to try activities. We will support the ones they enjoy and not force them to push forward with the ones they don't. But most of all, we will do everything we can for them to know who they are in our family and who they are in Christ.

What Do I Do?

What do you do?

That is the question that I fear most in social settings. I'm often tempted to lie and tell people I'm a stay at home mom. Or a stripper. But I don't. Because telling the truth is in the rule books in my profession.

I'm a children's minister.

Telling people you work for the church is often a conversation stopper. "Oh," they say, grasping at their next word, "that's nice." Then the conversation does one of three things:

1. They change the subject.
2. They tell me how much they love their church and how their VBS reached 9,003 kids last year.
3. They start confessing how long it's been since they've been to church and why their lives are so busy that they just simply can't fit church in anymore.

I wish it didn't make people feel awkward. I'm really just a glorified party planner. One who throws parties where Jesus is the theme. I throw these parties every Sunday morning and then once a year we do a sort of Jesus-pa-looza called vacation bible school.

I don't judge other families for being busy. I don't judge people who have missed a Sunday or two. Or sixteen. I simply make sure the party is fun and safe and that families feel welcomed and loved. At least that's the goal. I try to create a space where people can join with other people to learn, love, and enjoy each other.

Church is a place to come together with other believers. Or at least other people who want to be believers. Okay, maybe it's for people who are thinking about wanting to be believers. No one at church is perfect. No one has their life all together. We simply gather to take time to say, "Hey, God! Thanks for all the cool stuff you've done for me. Oh, and please help me to not be a jerk this week."

Yes, we read the Bible and we teach the stories. That's not to make people feel bored or guilty or squeamish. It's because God, in his infinite wisdom, recorded the stories of lots of other people who believed in him. Or wanted to believe in him. Or were thinking about wanting to believe in him. Most of those people made mistakes. Big mistakes. And most of them learned lessons. So we read the stories in the hope that we can learn from other people's lives. It also helps us to see that God has always been a stand up guy who takes care of his people.

I'm proud to be a children's minister, a church worker. If I wasn't I'd probably go with the "stripper" line more often, although I don't think anyone would buy it. I'm grateful that God has called me to be in this position in this time. I pray every day that He will work through me to bless others even though that sometimes makes for long, awkward pauses and fumbling of words. And I pray that his Spirit would go before me each day so that the path would be clear and the conversations would be plentiful.